Yes, you probably need to set boundaries with your phone

In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes, and me hiding in my phone to avoid feelings.

Luckily, you may not as prone to dissociation as I am, but if your device usage goes on for way longer than you intend, feels uncontrollable, or happens mindlessly or automatically, it may have morphed into an escapist behavior.

The main purpose of these behaviors is to “escape” negative emotions and the circumstances that caused them, and of course they’re not limited to your (my) Instagram habit. Losing ourselves in gaming, social media, TV, and/or substance abuse enables us to avoid acknowledging or processing our problems, keeping us trapped in them.

Whether you’re a true escapist, or just annoyed by how much of your life is getting doom-scrolled away, there’s plenty you can do to start regaining control over your life.

Make your phone dumb again

Both Android and iPhone:

• Turn off notifications—seriously. They replicate the variable reward schedule that makes gambling so addictive.
  • Guides for iPhone, Android, and Samsung
• Turn off volume and vibration
• Delete problematic apps—social media is a given, but did you know that email has been shown to actually cause stress?
  • Log out of those services in your browsers too!
• Delete anything work-related
• Turn on grayscale mode
  • Guides for iPhone, Android, and Samsung
• Remove anything remotely entertaining from your home screen
• Put it on airplane mode
• Just turn the damn thing off entirely

iPhone:

• Set app limits with Screen Time
• Silence notifications with Focus Mode
• Get all your notifications at once with Scheduled Summary

Android

• Set app limits and more with Digital Wellbeing

Set literal, physical boundaries

• Keep it out of sight and out of mind by locking it in a safe, hiding it in a junk drawer, or simply leaving it in another room (preferably underneath a pillow or something)
• Get an old-school alarm clock to keep your phone out of your bedroom (and prevent you from doom-scrolling first thing)
• Wrap a rubber band around your phone, so the physical barrier jolts you back to reality when you mindlessly pick up phone—and gives you the opportunity to reconsider

Find something else to do

Once you’ve set your boundaries, it’s crucial to find healthier behaviors to replace the escapist one. Come up with a list of easy, rewarding things you can do instead; my personal favorites include doing Wordle, texting friends randomly out of the blue, stretching, listening to a favorite song, eating chocolate, doing a jumping jack or two to temporarily dispel my permanent existential dread, and feeling envious of birds while staring silently out the window.